Women safety in India

In India on an average a woman gets raped every 34 minutes. Yes, what this means is someone somewhere is getting raped in India even as you are reading this sentence !!

What a shame !!!

What have we become as a nation today ? We used to be a country where women were considered as the most sacred creations of God (and I am not talking about the past 3 or 4 thousand years..I am talking about Vedic India...the real India...or Bharat !). Women were literally worshipped and paid the greatest level of respect. In the Hindu culture Lord Shiva himself is considered to have emanated from Shakti (a feminine character) ! Feminism was given such high value that most of the natural sources of nourishment for human beings were given feminine names. This includes our Rivers (Nadi), Earth (Dharti / Prithvi), Fire (Agni), Cow (Gaoo Mata..because it gives us milk), Knowledge (Saraswati), Wealth (Lakshmi).

All women were looked at as Motherly or Sisterly figures unless specifically chosen to be a spouse or a simple friend ! Now don't laugh or nag by reading that sentence. It was true till sometime back ! However, today if someone says he considers all women as his mothers or sisters then instantly he is tagged as a person who is of double standards and is often made fun of !

Considering women as non-mothers and non-sisters has become a fashion these days !! Anyone not complying to this fashion is stereotyped to be Old-fashioned. What injustice towards the democratic right of a man !

A big question today in front of all of us is:

How to stop or atleast reduce drastically the number of rapes happening in our country?

The media eagerly and excitedly reports every rape case and also condemns it. So does our government and judicial system. But thats all they do....Condemn...Condemn and Condemn !

Well, thats clearly not going to solve the problem.

According to me the only way to reduce rapes in this country is by making extremely stringent laws against rape. I do not advocate Death penalty for rapists because that is not enough punishment for a crime as henious as Rape that too in the Indian social context !

The law should ensure that the rapist(s) are given a punishment whose negative impact on their life is atleast equivalent to the negative impact their crime has caused to the lady/girl who got raped. Infact, the impact should be atleast 1.5 to 2 times more.

Let us see what a women's life is after being raped, especially in the Indian context. In other words, what has she lost?

1. She looses the image of being "pure" and this impurity tag remains with her till she lives

2. It becomes difficult for her to find a suitable spouse and if she was already married, her spouse often starts to hate her.

3. She suffers physical and mental trauma during the act of rape

4. She suffers loss of dignity in the society and people don't want to spend time with her anymore

5. Her family members undergo similar social dignity loss

6. For the rest of her Life she keeps getting negative thoughts, dreams and memories of the horrific act done to her.

A rapist therefore, needs to be given a punishment that has similar (if not higher) negative imacts in his life. I believe a rapist should be castrated by Law. This would make things equal on the physical trauma front and also ensure that he doesn't repeat the act. Next, his face should be blemished with black ink or gutter water and a garland of shoes should be put around his neck. Thereafter his cloths should be completely removed and he should be made to walk nude on the road for 3 days in the area where his house is. Also, there should be countrywide media coverage of this event. This would bring the necessary humiliation to him and his family and it would make it very difficult for them to be accepted by the society (just like the girl).

If the above punishment is kept for Rapists, I am sure all future potential rapists would take heed and think 100 times before conducting this crime.

Now you would say, but what if the criminal never gets caught? Well, this happens due to our weak and corrupt police system. A rule should be made that if the rapist is not caught by the Area police within a stipulated time period then the ACP or DCP of that area would suffer a suspension or loss of promotion ! This would take care of this issue (to a good extent if not fully) !

It is a pity to see that both Delhi and UP (perhaps the most criminal states of our country from Rape perspective) have Female chief ministers, our country has a female President and the Ruling party Chair person too is a female and still India is rated as the 4th most dangerous country for women in the world (ref: http://in.reuters.com/article/2011/06/15/idINIndia-57704120110615) !!!!

I pray to God to help the women of my country, make them more powerful and wake the conscience of our political and Judicial leaders so that they inact appropriate laws for stopping the progressive growth of this henious act in our country !

Amen !

-Neel

Being in the *Winning Zone* !

Are you as capable as Amir Khan? or Lord Krishna? or Mother Teressa? or Mahatma Gandh? or Albert Einstein? or Bill Gates?....the list is long....they all are high achievers in life !

How many times have we wondered whether we are indeed capable of becoming stupendously successful in a particular field within this very lifetime?

Well, I have observed myself think about it when I witness a *winning moment* in anyone's life. I often ask myself on such occasions, "Can I too reeeeeaaally do something like this?"

A *winning moment* is any event that marks the victory of a spirit thats focused on achieving an end-goal over all odds. For e.g. When a barely 14 year old Nadia Comaneci scored a perfect 10/10 for the first time ever in the history of Gymnastics OR Mahatma Gandhi who was a thin man who barely wore anything besides a simple Dhoti and carried a walking stick which would have never been annotated by the British as an effective weapon this Indian man, whose flesh and bones were made out of pure vegetarian food, had against their mighty empire !

Btw, it may not always be an event involving herculian achievements and famous personalities that puts one in this reflective state of mind. Sometimes, when we see some very small things around us such as an ant carrying a huge piece of food 20 - 30 times its own size back to its home OR one of the brothers in a joint Indian family taking the lead in keeping the family united inspite of all odds OR a mother wild buffalo successfully holding the front single-handedly against a hungry herd of 5 Lionesses and a Lion in order to defend her newbord calf and this boldness of her's in turn not only stopping the stronger male buffaloes in the buffalo herd from running away in fear but also making them take a U-turn to come back in her support and together they all literally giving the Lions a run for their lives !

Infact, in India I would say that reaching home safely every evening after cutting through the crazy traffic is no less a feat than Man setting foot on the moon ! Am just kidding...;-)

Well these are examples of some events that charge us up !

So what exactly is the common component in all these events that puts us at an emotional high? ... Answer is: The spirit to WIN that every creature on this earth is born with !

It is this winning spirit or "the winner" inside us who gets touched and reminded of its existance whenever it sees itself working inside a different entity outside ! The moment this happens, you have entered, what I have heard from some very successful people as, "The Winning Zone" ! It is this zone or state-of-mind that is responsible for your winning actions more than anything else.

Therefore, in order for someone to win ...and become good at winning frequently... the first step he needs to take is to believe that this winner *indeed exists* inside him and that he is indeed capable of winning every single time he summon's this winner for accomplishing a task ! This winner is much like the Jinny of Aladdin who is capable of giving him a sure-shot Win and the best part is that he is your slave and works 24x7 all your life without getting tired ! Too good to be true...haan?

We often naturally get into this zone by witnessing unplanned events in and around our life but the bad news is that we usually come out of this zone as quickly as we entered it !

But the good news is, there are ways to keep yourself consistently in this winning zone always ...and thereby always ensuring that you Win !

The second step, which is often considered as the more difficult part, is that of Acting in concordance with this belief of being able to Win !

This second step, even though considered difficult, is actually not even a step that you need to worry about ! This second step is an automatic and logical aftermath of step one ! In other words, it HAPPENS by itself  IF you get the first step right !

So how do we get the first step right?

To answer this question...let me ask you a question.

If you have never done para jumping before, can you jump off an aeroplane flying at 15000 foot (ofcourse with a parachute)?

Almost 99% of the people respond by saying....Naah ... thats not my cup of tea !

However, if I ask the same question with a bit more sense of urgency and importance added to it .... for e.g.... Can you jump of an aeroplane flying at 15000 foot if that was the only way you could get to an island where your 4 year old child is trapped all alone ? (I know its a fictitious situation...but what if it was true?)

For those who do not have a child yet, think of someone you love immensely and imagine him/her instead of the child !

It is amazing to see that the second question instantly puts our emotions to work and almost 80% - 90% of people come back saying..."If something as precious as my child is on stake...I CAN and I WILL DO IT (especially when I have a parachute there isnt really anything to worry about)" !

How did this happen? From a non-believer on one's own capability a while back...How did one become a firm believer instantly ?

Well, it is the magic of your "Self-talk" !

What is this "Self-talk" ? Well, as the name suggests...it is what you say to yourself inside your heart of hearts !

The moment you are faced with a challenge in life...your self-talk gets to work and either says.."I can do it" ... or it says... "I can't do it" !

In most cases, our self-talk remains negative or at best it is like that of the average and mediocre people and that is the main reason why we remain average and mediocre for most part of our life ! Our Self-talk raises above this mediocre level only when we are pushed to the edge of a cliff from where there is no scope left for backing out !

As Heroic as it sounds, it is really not that difficult to change your Self-talk from negative to positive ! To give my own example, it was impossible for me to dip my head inside water in a swimming pool. Swiming or floating was completely out of question ! However, it only took a change of Self-talk from "I can't" to "I can" for me to overcome my fear and learn to float in water. How did I do it?

Well, what I really did was shift my focus from the fear of drowning to the pleasure of swimming. I used to stand in the swimming pool (all alone) for hours together and just imagined myself floating and swimming in water with ease ! This imagination when done again and again...slowely started to get converted into a real solid belief that I indeed can float and swim ! So you see...the self-talk got changed from "I can't" to "I can" and the moment I started saying..."I can"...I instantly started to get a lot of courage that I did not have earlier.

And when the courage came, I entered the water and started my tries of floating. It didn't take me long after that point to realize that the default action of the water that surrounds me is actually *NOT* to drown me but to make me float ! This discovery helped me gather up more courage and at this point..I decided to Let go ... Let go the fear ... and let go the support I was holding on to.... submitted myself to the helping water 100% .. and the water in return kept its promise of not letting me drown ! There I was lying in the swimming pool in my apartment complex....head facing upward towards the sky....watching the moon and the stars....the water was just like the cushion on my bed....A Winning moment in my Life !!

So to sum up this particular solution in one sentence.... the key to remain in the winning zone (and therefore to succeed frequently) is......"Practise the use of your imagination as an effective tool to change your self-talk positively".

Another great solution that instantly puts you in the winning zone....is to watch a movie...or listen to a song or music...that is associated with a winning moment (either yours or someone else's) ! Infact, it is a good idea to listen to any such music or watch a 10 minutes winning video before you go to sleep every night ! This does wonders to your ability and statistics of Winning !

If you say..."I can"...you are speaking the truth.....and if you say..."I can't"...you still are speaking the truth !

Choice is your's...which truth do you want to believe in and make part of your precious Life?

regards,

-Neel